Infrastructure Pundit Gifts

"I know it saved costs but I still think a flyover would have been better."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

Hate Platforms

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Our government is proud announce a whopping 1% GDP growth at the small cost of climate change nearly wiping our indigenous tribes out."

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

'Welcome! You are now in Shambles!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Invade/Fail/Deny

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"The Nominees"

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

All-Purpose Obamatoon

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

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