Infomercial Fan Gifts

"I'll give you a hint - it's sold only on TV."

Death watches late night teeth infomercial.

"But wait, there's more."

And if you say yes in the next 30 seconds, I'll throw in a second ring, these handsome cases, and a set of chef's knives. The Infomercial Proposal.

"You know what I love about infomercials? No commercials!"

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

Aren't all gifts free?

And if it's successful, we'll do an infomercial.

Where Are They Now?

"Did you hear that Henderson ascended to Heaven amid the entire angelic assembly? You can't buy publicity like that."

'Eric the white horse' was fed up being associated with whiskey...so he decided to try beer instead!

Ok, maybe we should put him back in sales.

Call now! Performers in dramatizations in informercials often rush through their lines. They're following the exhortation to "act quickly."

"You didn't have to do that, Simon. It tells you on the box if there's a free gift inside!"

"If elected, I'll institute an AMAZING CRASH PROGRAM that in JUST 24 HOURS will trim ugly fat and waste from government and literally turn it into SUPER SERVICES for you the AMERICAN PEOPLE by utilizing a NATURAL MECHANISM so powerful that when unleashed

"Want to look better in your swimsuit? Visit Sally's Fitness Spa..."

"You must be the only person in the country who doesn't want to know what those meerkats are advertising."

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

'Act now and you'll get this slicerdicer absolutely free! But wait, that's not all...'

'Isn't that the famous dog you see in all these TV-commercials?'

"Bad news. The competition brought in 13 coupons and seventy thousand reasonable facsimiles."

Bad news for Tony the Tiger. I've got something to tell you and I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

“Act now—the first fifty callers receive a presidential pardon.”

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

"Mom, I love infomercials...there are no commercials!"

'You know the king on that burger commercial? I find him very disturbing.'

Joe experiences a profound, life-changing moment of clarity, but it simply can't compete with the cool informercial he was watching at the time.

'That was the longest infomercial I've ever seen.'

"Would you care to try a free sample?"

'He was a member of the Everlasting Church of the Informercial.'