Industry Conference Gifts

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

The interested bystanders.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

Networking

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

Mark Zuckerberg

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

The Card Flinger

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

"It's our new corporate strategy. I'd get on board if I were you, Watkins."