Industrial Jesters Gifts

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

"The first one's just a warning."

"I hate performance review season."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Nil By Ear

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

'I ran with them once.'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

"I'll have my people call your people."

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

'Er, Jane, if my wife's kidnappers ring I'm in a meeting.'

"Congratulations! I'm promoting you to be my food taster!"

Work/Life Balance.

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'