Industrial Irony Gifts

Origami animals are being driven into a confetti factory slaughter house.

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

A businessman sits with an executive toy of smokestacks.

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

"Management think staff need to use their initiative more, and they forwarded a 65 page memo on how they want you to do it."

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

"I'll breathe easier when the economy gets back on track."

"That efficiency expert you hired said I should get rid of you."

'I'm starting to think this will be a year without any raises.'

'You're being replaced by a machine...But at least it's an American-made machine.'

"We're tolerably self sufficient. Alistair, for example, makes all our own petrol."

'All our effluent is green. Shouldn't that win us points with environmentalists?'

"You should have been here last week. This is clean coal."

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

Loggers Destroy Industry.

"Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile toxic-wast dump."

'I see that the new foreman has already left an impression on you.'

"That's Gerald, he was your predecessor as head of strategic planning."

Muscle Steriods.

First Church of Fiscal Morality: The Meek Shall Inherit The National Debt!

"We must have had an order."

Chemoco International

'Someone accidentally deleted the data you've been inputting. Looks like I'll have to hire you temps full time.'

Battery Hens.

'According to your resume, you've accomplished very little and left no paper trail. Very impressive.'

An unequal opportunity employer.

Klutz Refinery, Unauthorized Personnel Only

Anxious businesswoman headed to 'another fun day at work'