Industrial Irony Appreciator Gifts

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Big business is not evil

"He was much more effective in the field."

Peace bomb.

"You have a grossly exagerrated view of your own importance. You'll make an excellent department head."

Employment Counselor. That's terrible! What kind of company fires you for taking a day off? A calendar company.

"I appreciate how you've protected my privacy, Doc. I'm gonna tell everybody about it on my medical rating website!"

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

Mega Corp. Last Rest Stop for 37 Doors.

'Rumors...'

Eat Bacon. Loose weight.

"We've cut away all the fat now we have to look at staffing costs!"

"I need to change my secretary - she's had me on hold for twenty minutes."

"We're tolerably self sufficient. Alistair, for example, makes all our own petrol."

"You should have been here last week. This is clean coal."

Antiques, Furniture Stripping, Stripping.

"It's a lovely present, but when I said I liked Mona Lisa I was thinking of the record by Nat King Cole."

Gaugin's Great Great Grandson

'I see that the new foreman has already left an impression on you.'

"Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile toxic-wast dump."

"Everyone reading their fortunes aloud will not relieve the crushingly dull conversation."

"Alas, poor Yorick!"

'A credit card company has told us not to bother to apply. We're pre-disapproved.'

Chemoco International

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

"You'll like global warming because the seas will rise and this beach will be under water."

Klutz Refinery, Unauthorized Personnel Only

'*@#$! I just said "high quality" again.'

Santa and his sleigh hit a flare stack.

"Ingrid, inform the staff that in a gesture of solidarity, I wont be raising my salary this year. . . I will however, be reducing theirs."

I think I've solved our downsizing problem!

"I'd like to see you talk your way out of this."