Indulgent Romantics T-Shirts

Candy Shop and Al's Gym:'We have heart-shaped candies' - 'We fix pear-shaped bodies'.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

Make your resolutions achievable.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"Well, hello there yourself!"

Roller Coaster of Love

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

Dessert

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Renaissace Music Lovers

Bangers and Mash

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

"I found this fabulous new shop."

"That was good, but less tongue next time."

Easy Come, Easy Go: Big Splenders Club.

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.

He'll have a crumb of wheat toast. No I won't! I'll have a sausage biscuit with cheese. And we'll have a plain glass of water. No I won't! I'll have a mocha with whipped cream. And for dessert … I'll have a hot buttered blueberry scone with pumpkin-spice frosting and peppermint sprinkles! That looks lovely! He'll have plain yogurt. If you don't eat right, you won't be around for me to berate. Give me a double donut burger! A triple would be more humane. House of Java.

We'll have the Christmas feast for one. She means for two. He'll have a small bowl of cold oatmeal. No I won't! I'll have that Christmas feast! The turkey … the stuffing, the yams, the pumpkin pie a la mode with whipped cream, the extra-thick, brandy-infused eggnogg, the cranberry sauce, the succulent ham ... the reindeer jerky, the frosted sugar cookies with butter flakes, and the noose-shaped chocolate cupcakes with cheese filling. He'll have half a saltine cracker. You know what the doctors s

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

Tinder for dogs