Indulgent Traveler T-Shirts

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

Easter Island legs

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Kardiff.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Make your resolutions achievable.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

Safari.

Cheapskate Cruises

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

Dessert

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

Dollywood...Nirvana... 'I'm lost.'

Commuter on the Orient Express

"I know all about the rising costs of rent, utilities and food. I was thinking about it on the company jet on the way to my holiday house on the Cote D'Azur, but I'm afraid the company is under too much financial pressure to give you a raise."

"This is the life -- I'm never travelling Economy again!"

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'I've decided to give up giving up!'