Independent Politics Gifts

Politically Homeless

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

Cellphone Islands

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"The Just Me Band"

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

The Mainstream

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

Signing the declaration of independence.

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"Who needs men when there's chocolate."

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

The Choice is Obvious

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

Self-employed.

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"