Independent Politics Gifts

Politically Homeless

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

Cellphone Islands

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"The Just Me Band"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

The Mainstream

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"Who needs men when there's chocolate."

The Choice is Obvious

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

Self-employed.

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"