Independent Music Gifts

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

Cellphone Islands

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"The Just Me Band"

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

The Mainstream

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Rock On

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

"Who needs men when there's chocolate."

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."