Independent Film Maker Gifts

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

Brad Pitt

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"Which part are you reading for?"

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

"I think I should tell you, I'm CGI."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

George Clooney Machine

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Stunt lemmings.

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

Hollywood producer.

"#Metoo unveils an awful abyss of disrespect, harassments and hostility towards women! Let's make a film about it - boobs and violence sells great!"

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

Hollywood producer.

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

'Hang on a minute...'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale