Inactive Athlete Gifts

'It's an exercise stimulator.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Yearbook

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Bullseye!

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Saving a Heart