Inactivity Enthusiast Gifts

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

I drive, therefore I am.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Cristiano Ronaldo

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

'What luck!'

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

No Action Comics

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

A Man mixing up his sports.

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

Always! Just as I sit down to eat!

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

We've been busy today, Ernie! And all because we followed Ted's suggestions! First he told us to go fly a kite. That was fun! Next, he told us to take a hike. It was beautiful. Then he said we should go pound sand and now he wants us to jump in a lake! Best day ever!

'It was designed for people who don't want any visitors.'

'No matter where you go, people somehow find you.'

Moo! Honk! Don't stoop to their level Henry!

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

'My god, this is it... I'm finally getting my fifteen minutes of privacy.'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

Lone traveller is befriended by tourist from hell.

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'Walter, are you avoiding me?'

Athletes doing hurdles, short athlete has vaulting pole.

Idlewild.

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

Anyone Welcome

"They always know when it's time to make the bed."