Idleness Enthusiast Gifts

Idlewild.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

Fetch the Boomerang

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"You know... if we don't find some ambition we could find ourselves still just laying around years from now." "Sounds good to me!"

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

'Actually, this is when I'm at my most creative, when I don't seem to be doing anything.'

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

'What luck!'

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

Couch potato's shirt, "It suits you!"

'It was designed for people who don't want any visitors.'

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

"Hey, Eli, would you and your little friend mind getting as far away from me as humanly possible?"

'This is your last wish. Are you sure you want to use it to change channel again?'

'No matter where you go, people somehow find you.'

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

Over-qualified?

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. you know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"And he hits it, and the other guy hits it back, and the first guy hits it, and the second guy hits it back and-"

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

'My god, this is it... I'm finally getting my fifteen minutes of privacy.'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'