Idle Enthusiast Gifts

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

He remains absolutely motionless on the job! That's how he claims to be a "steady" worker.

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

Bad for you but to die for

Hush puppy.

Jarvis Cocker

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

Project Manager Showdown

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

Where Cream Ale comes from

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

Beer

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

If knee could talk: "Please sit back down."

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

'And slowly, over time, Al and his chair became one!'

Couch potato's shirt, "It suits you!"

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

Using an electric toothbrush to stir tea

"...and this is our Agile project!"

"Axle! - Will you STOP messing about??"

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

Free Little Library

'This is your last wish. Are you sure you want to use it to change channel again?'

'Ghah. They've moved everything round again.'