Athlete Gifts

"Good beard."..."Nice beard."..."Good beard."..."Great beard."..."Good beard."

John McEnroe

A medal podium with places for first, second and third is contrasted with a spot at the bar for fourth place.

"Let's go slider, fastball, curve, beanball, fight, ejection, shower, beer."

Spring Training

"Anyone for tennis?"

"Oh, hell."

The dream works when the team works!

It was in that instant that Wendell began to regret his decision not to get breast implants.

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"What an amazing view!"

Pedalo Racer

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

Canadian Hockey

World Football Tournament USA Vs. England

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"

'Voila! ... Concussion-proof!'

'Hey, that's not fair.'

"We lost!"

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

'If you want to play in this league, Wilson, you've got to learn to play with pain!'

"The good news is it's the size of a baseball."

'What? You said court-appropriate attire!'

Sprint race about to start. One contestant wearing a rocket attached to his back. The fuse is lit ready to help him win the race.

'It's for passing my drug test.'

"It's a game of power, speed, agility, and grace, but, most of all, Tom, it's a game of points."

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

"Are you sure you used human growth hormone?"

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

No mattress,

Luddite Olympics.

'Stroke!'

Time Run

Art and Sport: Ballerina playing basketball.

'Brian was dropped from the team after picking up a nasty leg injury.'