Athlete Enthusiast Gifts

'I always wanted to sleep with the star of the game.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'My feet are killing me.'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Portrait of a Lady"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Be Healthy

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Can our software do that?'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Yearbook

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Football Chameleon

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."