Sporting Enthusiast Gifts

'Cured? Well, I'll know more once the stitches are removed and the swelling goes down. But I'm fairly certain we've at least improved your defective golf swing.'

Athlete nearly reaches finish line after his trousers fall down.

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'I wouldn't let you near me with a ten foot pole.'

'You can argue until you're blue in the face, Todd. But you rolled your eyes, and Adolescent Ref is not going to change his mind!'

Novak Djokovic Deported from Australia

"It's not a riot, Dear. It's a football game."

'I think I just got a hit.'

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

'The entire team is lethargic. Tell the athletic trainer to whip up a cure.'

Vuvuzela bin.

"Holly and Michael were growing envious of their son's imaginary friend… Rickey and me are going to the Knicks game with Bruce Springsteen!"

Egg and spoon race.

'I always dream about cricket, all night every night.'

A sudden change of weather can cause havoc at sporting events.

C'mon, dude, do you have to be environmentally conscious about everything? Boo! You Stink. 26. 11.

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Football Chameleon