Athletic Enthusiast Gifts

'... 'Warm up before you take the mound,' I said. 'Stretch out,' I said...'

"Musn't fetch...musn't fetch..."

'Tragically, he wandered onto the discus portion of a track and field event.'

"With baseball, college football and pro football overlapping, the excitement is too much form him to handle."

Cristiano Ronaldo

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"How should we divide the teams?"

Gary turns 40.

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

A day at the transgenic races

Ratminton

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Saving a Heart

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes