Imaginative Communicator Gifts

'This call may be monitored for quality assurance.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Direct Marketing...

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Target your message

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Wordplay: Export.

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

Time for speeches

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

"So...you finally getting a girlfriend this year?"

"I appreciate succinct memos, Phillips, but stop writing them all in Haiku!"

'Actually, when I asked you to bring something fresh to the table, I was talking about ideas!'

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

The Curse of Rhadamanthus (For Pete's Sake)

"They're on a silent retreat."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"I'm just posting something to my wall."

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

'You talk in riddles!' 'I'M A POET!