Image Management Critic Gifts

Building Directory... First Floor: Traditional businesses pretending to be young, hip and edgy...

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

Boss: Suggestion Box Bin

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

Waste Management.

Baracracy

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom..."

Who's In Charge Here?

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

'How can the employees accuse me of running a sweatshop? Don't I let them go home after midnight?'

You looked different during our video chat.

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

The Buck Stops Here.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'Finally, here's your chance to do something extraordinarily good for our company - quit and start working for the competitor!'

Employer of the month...and every month.

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

Puppet workers.

"I like your attitude, Peterson!"

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

"My client has been convicted by the media, but I am confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal by the three major networks and the 'Times.'"

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

I'm the vice president of something or other...

"Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been reading written?"

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.