Profile Picture Critic Gifts

You looked different during our video chat.

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

'He's picture perfect, alright, but the negative leaves a little to be desired.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

'It's just more pro-parent spin.'

Using a social media app to date

Critics In Love

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'I like it, but is it Art?'

"This can't even be the right planet! No one looks remotely like their online profile pics."

"Your mother was young and restless and knew what she wanted. She wanted out."

Da Vinci calms Mona Lisa with bottle of wine.

Ew, I look terrible! Take one more!

'You've got her on 16.5 zoom and it's not good.'

As Tina looked more closely at her online date, she began to doubt his claim that his photo was recent.

Francis Bacon

'Your profile said you were tall, dark, and mysterious.'

"So what's the next landmark we can build for people's dating app profile pictures?"

'A dog learns about the flyer that was used to find him.'

Red Letter Days - Having one's portrait shown

This will be an awesome profile pic!

'It looks nothing like me!'

"I kept hoping the picture would get old and repulsive looking, instead of me, but it didn't work out that way."

"Gee, you didn't mention your wart in your personal."

The creation of the first size OO woman.

"He looked a lot bigger online."

Boy, you were this close to getting in until I checked these photos of you on Facebook.

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

Quentin de la Tour

"Do you want style or comfort?"

"That's an unusual, orange jumpsuit!"

Mulroney's portrait made it clear he'd not forgiven his Conservative detractors.

'Don't make my nose too big!'