Image Management Gifts

"We'll make you appear smart, but a little inarticulate - instead of somebody who is stupid and doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Useless information"

King Solomon's Pollster.

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

The weightless office.

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

"My client has been convicted by the media, but I am confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal by the three major networks and the 'Times.'"

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

"Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been reading written?"

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

'Do you have anything that reeks of power?'

Royal Pic Photoshop

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

Can you make me slimmer, get out some grays, and reduce my wrinkles? Oh, so what you're asking is that I leave and come back ten years ago.

Hike Difficulty 1. Instagram Worthiness 8.

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?

"When they get injured now, the physio goes on first followed by their stylist and image consultant..."

Style Consultant

"Your best bet is photoshop."