Illustrated Moral Tales Gifts

Industry and Idleness - The idle apprentice betrayed by a prostitute.

The Fourth Little Pig

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

Moses and the Three Wise Monkeys

'In that case we will ALL wait for the results of the lab assistant's DNA test on the chalk.'

'We have to build an ark - It's part of His restructuring plan.'

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

The tortoise and the hare - Aesop's fables.

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

'Hell's Kitchen/God's Pantry'

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice and the Red Queen.

"I want to be irresistible to women."

"Jekyll, old man - I think you've made my wife's drink a bit too strong."

The true story of how David brought down Goliath.

"I been to CVS, Whole Foods, Duane Reade, Stop & Shop, Safeway, Walgreens, Publix, Star Market, WinCo, Wegman's, Trader Joe's, Post Office..."

Halo Theft

Jack and Jill

'If you didn't know how long a cubit was, you should have asked...'

'We have an air guitar to go with it, Sire.'

'Tell the children I was swallowed by a whale...'

Nice Guys Finish Last