Idle Hands Club Gifts

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

ONE HORSE TOWN

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Drinking Companions

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

"Suddenly I'm feeling paranoid about all the notes you're taking."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Campaign 2016

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

Snub Marine

Here's eco club's green-prom tip sheet. Let's see. Wear vintage clothing. Buy locally grown corsage flowers. Use biodegradable cups and plates. Eco club. This is so obvious. How about the tough stuff? Ok. Who knows where to recycle gel pads from push-up bras? The place that takes the fake hair extensions?

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

Fill idle hours by making your own rustic seat...use it when you want to relax.

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

'I HATE Spring cleaning!'

'This time you hold the nail!'

Cricket wife's revenge 9

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'This is your last wish. Are you sure you want to use it to change channel again?'

'This next song's for anyone who's feeling a little lonely right now.'

'I had a very lonely childhood. I was an only twin.'

The Fireside Jungle: Indoor plants can do much to improve the visual appearance of your rooms...

Idlewild.

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

Hunters And Gatherers Without Partners.

'Poor fellow. One really is the loneliest number.'

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

The pessimist and the paranoid