Identity Theft Prevention Pillows

Credit Cards Shredded.

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

'Can't say. It's private.'

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will h

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

"Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back at an on-line shopping center."

"Ever since his identity was stolen, he's been easier to live with."

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

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'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested - slept through the sermon.'

'Bernie's not really a transvestite -- he's just paranoid about identity theft.'

'We'll try. In the meantime, I can offer you a great deal on a new identity to replace yours.'

'It was really hard for him when somebody stole his identity...but it felt even worse when they gave it back.'

"We'll do everything we can. In the meantime, would you like a new identity to replace your stolen one."

"Well, I suppose it could be identity theft. But that doesn't alter the fact that according to our records, you're already here."

'I'm flattered... someone stole my identity.'

"That's the guy who stole my identity."

'Someone stole my identity, but left my big hips.'

Are you twittering under my name? Talkin 2 Rudy. I will tear you limb from limb. He's fusically irisistable. Then I'll tear your phone limb from limb. His iPhone 2. Then destroy all your gadgets. Losing mind. Incarcer8 me.

"And what a big hit you've taken to your credit score, Grandma."

"Give me your name, address, and date of birth."

We value your business and we're sensitive to your privacy concerns...

"That is my personal data, but it is a case of identity theft!"

'Sorry, it looks like your credit card has been cloned.'

"You had to steal the identity of the only person in the country with worse credit than ours."

'Someone stole my identity and now they're saddled with my low credit score.'