Identity Theft Pillows

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'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

"You had to steal the identity of the only person in the country with worse credit than ours."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

An identity thief takes the stand.

'Can't say. It's private.'

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

'I've found that poverty helps protect my identity.'

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

"Ever since his identity was stolen, he's been easier to live with."

"The person who stole my identity is in this city, so look for someone who looks and acts like me."

Now in Stock! 25 Million Names and Addresses on a 2 Disk Set.

'Bernie's not really a transvestite -- he's just paranoid about identity theft.'

'It was really hard for him when somebody stole his identity...but it felt even worse when they gave it back.'

Credit Cards Shredded.

"We'll do everything we can. In the meantime, would you like a new identity to replace your stolen one."

"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me because the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."

'We'll try. In the meantime, I can offer you a great deal on a new identity to replace yours.'

"I think you're perfect for this job. And not just because I'm afraid that if you don't get it you'll hack my phone and steal my identity."

Someone stole my identity. What do I do with all my monogrammed shirts?

"I must be a real loser. The guy who stole my identity is giving it back. He claims life as me really sucks."

'I'm flattered... someone stole my identity.'

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

"That's the guy who stole my identity."

'I'm here for identity theft.'

"Well, I suppose it could be identity theft. But that doesn't alter the fact that according to our records, you're already here."

"Give me your name, address, and date of birth."