Identity Theft Aware Pillows

'Sorry, it looks like your credit card has been cloned.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

'Stop kicking the back of my chair!'

An identity thief takes the stand.

'Most businesses point their CCTV cameras at property they want to protect. . . not at what they want to watch on the webcam...'

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

'It's your wife on camera 3 again!'

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

"Ever since his identity was stolen, he's been easier to live with."

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

"The person who stole my identity is in this city, so look for someone who looks and acts like me."

"I won a million dollars in an online lottery, and as I was tranferring the money to my bank account, the computer froze."

Now in Stock! 25 Million Names and Addresses on a 2 Disk Set.

'It was really hard for him when somebody stole his identity...but it felt even worse when they gave it back.'

"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me because the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."

Credit Cards Shredded.

'We'll try. In the meantime, I can offer you a great deal on a new identity to replace yours.'

'Oh good Lord! 'Tourists'? I thought you said 'Terrorists'!'

"I think you're perfect for this job. And not just because I'm afraid that if you don't get it you'll hack my phone and steal my identity."

Someone stole my identity. What do I do with all my monogrammed shirts?

'Someone stole my identity, but left my big hips.'

'I'm flattered... someone stole my identity.'

"I must be a real loser. The guy who stole my identity is giving it back. He claims life as me really sucks."

"Well, I suppose it could be identity theft. But that doesn't alter the fact that according to our records, you're already here."

"That's the guy who stole my identity."

"Uh, oh! We've got a problem! This safe has a childproof lock."