Dealing With Identity Theft Pillows

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

'Can't say. It's private.'

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

'I've found that poverty helps protect my identity.'

"The person who stole my identity is in this city, so look for someone who looks and acts like me."

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

"Ever since his identity was stolen, he's been easier to live with."

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'Bernie's not really a transvestite -- he's just paranoid about identity theft.'

Credit Cards Shredded.

'It was really hard for him when somebody stole his identity...but it felt even worse when they gave it back.'

"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me because the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."

'We'll try. In the meantime, I can offer you a great deal on a new identity to replace yours.'

"I think you're perfect for this job. And not just because I'm afraid that if you don't get it you'll hack my phone and steal my identity."

"We'll do everything we can. In the meantime, would you like a new identity to replace your stolen one."

Someone stole my identity. What do I do with all my monogrammed shirts?

'I'm flattered... someone stole my identity.'

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

"That's the guy who stole my identity."

'Someone stole my identity, but left my big hips.'

"Well, I suppose it could be identity theft. But that doesn't alter the fact that according to our records, you're already here."

"Give me your name, address, and date of birth."

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'Sorry, it looks like your credit card has been cloned.'