Identity Theft Awareness Pillows

'I'm flattered... someone stole my identity.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

Don't use your dog's name as a password

Peep-A-Boo Spyware: 'Your Privacy is Our Eminent Domain!'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"Here's the problem -- your fourth wall is broken. That's why you keep seeing all those people out there."

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

'Stop kicking the back of my chair!'

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

An identity thief takes the stand.

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

'Number Eleven are shagging again, let's go and watch the live feed from the control room.'

'Most businesses point their CCTV cameras at property they want to protect. . . not at what they want to watch on the webcam...'

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

'It's your wife on camera 3 again!'

"Ever since his identity was stolen, he's been easier to live with."

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

"The person who stole my identity is in this city, so look for someone who looks and acts like me."

Spray Can of Violence

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

"To ensure a free and transparent workplace I wear an active body camera while monitoring everyone's email."

"I won a million dollars in an online lottery, and as I was tranferring the money to my bank account, the computer froze."

Now in Stock! 25 Million Names and Addresses on a 2 Disk Set.

Pull yourself together, get over it and move on.

'You told someone I was away from my desk. That's way too much information.'

'We'll try. In the meantime, I can offer you a great deal on a new identity to replace yours.'