Dealing With Identity Theft T-Shirts

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

'Can't say. It's private.'

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will h

'I've found that poverty helps protect my identity.'

"The person who stole my identity is in this city, so look for someone who looks and acts like me."

"Ever since his identity was stolen, he's been easier to live with."

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

Now in Stock! 25 Million Names and Addresses on a 2 Disk Set.

'Bernie's not really a transvestite -- he's just paranoid about identity theft.'

"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me because the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."

"We'll do everything we can. In the meantime, would you like a new identity to replace your stolen one."

'We'll try. In the meantime, I can offer you a great deal on a new identity to replace yours.'

'It was really hard for him when somebody stole his identity...but it felt even worse when they gave it back.'

Credit Cards Shredded.

"I think you're perfect for this job. And not just because I'm afraid that if you don't get it you'll hack my phone and steal my identity."

Someone stole my identity. What do I do with all my monogrammed shirts?

"Well, I suppose it could be identity theft. But that doesn't alter the fact that according to our records, you're already here."

"And what a big hit you've taken to your credit score, Grandma."

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

'Someone stole my identity, but left my big hips.'

'I'm flattered... someone stole my identity.'

"That's the guy who stole my identity."

"Give me your name, address, and date of birth."

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