Identity Theft Specialist T-Shirts

'We'll try. In the meantime, I can offer you a great deal on a new identity to replace yours.'

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"That's the guy who stole my identity."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

'Have you got proof of gender?'

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

'I've found that poverty helps protect my identity.'

"The person who stole my identity is in this city, so look for someone who looks and acts like me."

You Think Your Phone Is Spying on You.

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

"Does any of them look like the man who stole your identity?"

Now in Stock! 25 Million Names and Addresses on a 2 Disk Set.

"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me because the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."

Credit Cards Shredded.

'It was really hard for him when somebody stole his identity...but it felt even worse when they gave it back.'

"I think you're perfect for this job. And not just because I'm afraid that if you don't get it you'll hack my phone and steal my identity."

"We'll do everything we can. In the meantime, would you like a new identity to replace your stolen one."

Someone stole my identity. What do I do with all my monogrammed shirts?

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

"Well, I suppose it could be identity theft. But that doesn't alter the fact that according to our records, you're already here."

'Someone stole my identity, but left my big hips.'

"Give me your name, address, and date of birth."

We value your business and we're sensitive to your privacy concerns...

"You had to steal the identity of the only person in the country with worse credit than ours."

'You mean someone has been trying to steal your identity?'