Identity Theft Detective T-Shirts

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Christopher Isherwood

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

"Handwriting analysis has revealed that Spencer is not in fact my husband."

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Information and Still don't get it.

'Who am I?'

Leave one of your names with my secretary.

'Sir, we need your passport, driver's license, and Facebook name!'

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

"But you really can't trust the media."

"Which version of yourself was the one who sabotaged the relationship?"

'Are you aware of the penalty for insurance fraud?'

"What do you mean, my pen name can't be 'J. K. Rowling'?"

"Harold keeps googling his name. He's trying to find himself."

'You fool! -- This man is obviously an impostor!'

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

Ed was in therapy for believing he was a therapist.