Identity Theft Aficionado T-Shirts

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

"I think you're perfect for this job. And not just because I'm afraid that if you don't get it you'll hack my phone and steal my identity."

'Where was the TSA?'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

She required plenty of personal space.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Biro Security

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Make it look like an accident.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

A new case, Ernie...On a lark, two young girls broke into a museum and stole a half-dozen Peter Breugel paintings of Hades. Chicks nick six styx pics for kicks!

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

Secret Identity Theft.

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."