Identity Analyst Pillows

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

'Age?' - 'Thirty three.' - 'Nationality?' - 'British' - 'Ethnicity?' - 'Full fat half pint white.'

'At least I have a meaningful job - you're just a meaningful person.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"National security adviser"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

The International and May Day Terrorism

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"That's hardly necessary!"

'More government surveillance!'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

Legalish

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Christopher Isherwood

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

Government Intelligence

The EP-21 spy plane.

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'