Hymnal Humorist Pillows

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Night-time halo

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"All we have left is standing room only."

The Adventures of God

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

Divine Desk Bins

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"