Hymnal Humorist Pillows

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Night-time halo

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

The Adventures of God

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"All we have left is standing room only."

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Divine Desk Bins

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'