Humorists Of The Heavenly Pillows

'The gray sedan on the left. Its car alarm ruined my nap!'

"We only got six days of funding."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

The Adventures of God

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'