Hygiene Skeptic Gifts

Nobody told James that the five second rule didn't apply in their line of work,

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

The Cougher

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Wash your hands

Safety Barriers

You have the worst spring breath.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'Mom, why do I have to wash both hands? I only eat with one of them.'

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

A day in the life of a dish sink

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"Tarzan hate frivolous lawsuits."

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.