Hygiene Detective Gifts

'How did you know I didn't wash my hands?'

'Who's been cutting their nails again?'

The Missing Sock Returns

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Whack-a-molecule

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

The new global mantra flag for the future

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Science and Coronavirus

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

The Complete Cycle.

'Glass of hot water please, I want to wash the cutlery'

Missing sock

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

'The first test was false-positive, the second test was false-negative. What are you trying to pull?'

John Snow

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"Stop right there. Some things we know without being told...like the benefits of scraping your tongue."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'This could end up costing a lot more than I thought -- your disease is psychocomatic!'