Humorous Deity Devotee Pillows

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Night-time halo

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"OMG, LOL!"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

Drive-thru Church

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Ready...."

Dante Alighieri

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God.'

Don't Walk on the Water

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

God changes His will.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Should I get these copyrighted, or is that covered by "Thou shalt not steal"? (Published previously on Dec. 10, 2002.)

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'That's Saint Throbbold. Patron saint of migraine.'

"I'm taking it all with me. I created everything, and it's mine."

God's Manicure.

''Halliburton'? Wait a minute! -- I meant for the MEEK to inherit the Earth!'

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

Singulars: spaghetto, broccolo, jacuzzo.

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'