Satire Devotee Pillows

'The criminals round here are really blatant!'

Clancy: Life Insurance

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"A film contract about your life and a percentage of the box office takings. How does that grab you?"

"Pheeew! Luckily the assassin is a dark-skinned guy!"

Canned Laughter

"If you would make a venn diagram of racist, who don't consider themselves racists, and Republicans...you would have a circle."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"For God's sake man, give it a break. You were an accountant!"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Gates of heaven

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

Dante Alighieri

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

About to take a triumphant departure from Ireland, Saint Patrick set his sights on world domination. That is, before his focus was diverted by a small harmless looking beverage.

Holy Relics.

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

Trump's firings

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"Do I get double bubble Sundays?"

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"As a Christian, it's my job to love everyone. Especially people like you who don't deserve it."