Satire Devotee Gifts

'The criminals round here are really blatant!'

Clancy: Life Insurance

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"A film contract about your life and a percentage of the box office takings. How does that grab you?"

"Pheeew! Luckily the assassin is a dark-skinned guy!"

Canned Laughter

"If you would make a venn diagram of racist, who don't consider themselves racists, and Republicans...you would have a circle."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"For God's sake man, give it a break. You were an accountant!"

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

Bunny Pranks

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Gates of heaven

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'All the tellers are nuns.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

Dante Alighieri

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Holy Relics.

Annoyed by slow waiters, the Weltners began bringing skeleton costumes whenever they ate out.

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

About to take a triumphant departure from Ireland, Saint Patrick set his sights on world domination. That is, before his focus was diverted by a small harmless looking beverage.

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"