Comical Deity Enthusiast Pillows

"We're getting reports that the joyful noise up here is exceeding lawful decibel levels."

Night-time halo

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"OMG, LOL!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

Dante Alighieri

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Mrs. Almighty.

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God.'

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

God changes His will.

Saint Peter reviews a man's sins.

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

''Halliburton'? Wait a minute! -- I meant for the MEEK to inherit the Earth!'

"I'm taking it all with me. I created everything, and it's mine."

Jesus Seals the Hick...

"Do you think everyone hangs out with me because I'm cool and funny, or because I'm God."

Should I get these copyrighted, or is that covered by "Thou shalt not steal"? (Published previously on Dec. 10, 2002.)

'This is ridiculous! I'v enever had a sick day in my life!'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'