Humorous Dating Storyteller Gifts

We don't want to see your pull-down menu

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

In Desperate Straits.

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"He's a terrible drunk."

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

"Boy, your sister wasn't kidding when she said you were the face of the company."

"Did I mention the date I had last night? A complete stiff, no sense of humor ... much too cerebral."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

He's Tasty!

'I was warned about online dating.'

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

"You lead such an interesting life. I've never been called to testify before a Congressional Banking Committee."

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"Yes, when we chatted online you did tell me that you had a ponytail, but...

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

"Would you like to dance with me?"

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

Bird Watchers Club of America.

Another last "first date" for Daphne "...and here's kitty peeking out of a shoe box. Oh! And here he is playing with a dead birdie! Oh how cute! Here's Kitty looking around a corner! And..."

"Sorry, I don't date older men."

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

'He was so cute! I touched his arm, and guess what? He said, 'Jeepers, Creepers'!'

'You'd better go home now, Ted -- I'm beginning to feel lonesome.'

'I know you've heard about how we roosters get around, but believe me, I'm a one-chicken guy.'

"It's where I grew up, Diane. A sleepy little town where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and blogs about it 24/7!"

'Let's play house... you can be my ex-husband.'

'And this is Ginger, from my fourth marriage.'