Humorous Dating Experience Gifts

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I do want to talk about your feelings but first let's talk about cheese."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

"You need a mint."

He's Tasty!

'How did you guess? Of course it's rented!'

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

I'm used to seeing crocodile tears when I tell off a man in this bar, but this is the first time I've seen crocodile exclamation points. ! !

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

Another last "first date" for Daphne "...and here's kitty peeking out of a shoe box. Oh! And here he is playing with a dead birdie! Oh how cute! Here's Kitty looking around a corner! And..."

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

'This is not what I meant when I said we were going dutch.'

"Sorry, I don't date older men."

'You certainly are a lady-killer - I'm almost starved to death!'

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

Why worms have no confidence

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

"Well of course I'm nervous....what if I chat her up only to find out she's my ex?"

'I know you've heard about how we roosters get around, but believe me, I'm a one-chicken guy.'

"I thought it was a place to pick up some chicks, but NOOOOO!"

"I'm invisible to all men."

I brought a little ice breaker.'

-

-and which one's your bird?

'Hey good lookin' come here often?'

'I take it you don't want me to come in for a drink.'

'You give me goose bumps.'