Humorous Dark Side Pillows

The practical psychopath

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Out To Lurch

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

End the Winter Blues

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"The Eggsorcist"

Zombies.

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Housekeeping?!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Optimist

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Look, I'm dying. Gotta go."

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"