Humorous Souls Pillows

'About this 'smart phone' I wished for. My second wish is that you show me how to use it.'

"He has a hundred runs against his name. That's his bowling of course."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

The practical psychopath

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'He was a great writer'

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

Angel doing the hula hoop.

El Greco

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."

"I love you, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, but I'm through getting slippers for someone who hasn't published anything since 1997."

"If global warming is a left wing plot... it's a very good one."

An old, dancing man holding a steaming cup

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"Sure, you can use the bathroom. But, you have to put your request in writing and send three copies to the personnel department."

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

Hook them with a crisis.

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

"I think that before we put the flat on AirBnb we should have moved out."

"I talked Vladi into skipping the transition to democracy in his country and just shooting straight over here with me."

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'

Hudson River Crouton