Humorist Of The Soul Pillows

Guru.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Clown on bike.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

Guru.

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"Feel my claw of death!"

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'