Humorist Of The Soul Gifts

Guru.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Clown on bike.

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

At the 2021 Religious Games

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Guru.

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."