Humorous Soul Gifts

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"Oh my God, do I really look like that when I'm running."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Quotes from dog lovers and dog haters.

'The mistletoe is so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.'

"C'mon, kids...we're going to visit Tia Marisela. It's her birthday. Just remind me not to be rude. She loves to talk, talk, talk and I'm always interrupting. I should, you know, show her more respect."

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers...

The Yacht

"Think of all the thirsty plants in Africa!"

"Tag. . . you're it!"

The Zoo.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Get crazy once in a while

The practical psychopath

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Fly fishing.

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

Frizzbee statue.

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

Beware of balloon dog.

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

Shoe repair

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Skateboard Sidewalk Surfer

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."